


Size Matters

by fairjennet



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Hobbit Kink Meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-29
Updated: 2013-01-29
Packaged: 2017-11-27 09:54:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/660642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairjennet/pseuds/fairjennet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written in response to Houkakyou's prompt on the Hobbit Kink Meme:</p><p>ANYTHING with Thranduil.<br/>Come on, he GLOWS. So much potential.</p><p>Double points if the moose/elk is mentioned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Size Matters

**Author's Note:**

  * For [welcometolotr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/welcometolotr/gifts).



"He's riding a moose," Lindir said.

"Pardon?" Elrond stood up straight and clasped his hands behind his back, adopting the manner of a wise and fierce elven lord so quickly that one would never suspect he'd been cooing at his horse only moments before. The horse looked reproachfully at Lindir.

"Thranduil. He's riding a moose."

"Nonsense." Elrond leaned on the rocky ledge next to Lindir, squinting into the distance. From this vantage point, they could see a good stretch of the wildlands between Imladris and the foot of the mountains. In the gathering twilight, Thranduil's party glowed faint and tiny in the east. "He...I think it's a great white elk. Rather magnificent, really. They're supposed to be extinct."

"Oh dear."

"Yes, I imagine he will be insufferably arrogant about it."

"No, I mean, yes, of course he will be, but that isn't the important bit. He'll never fit through the front path on that beast."

"Oh dear."

"Exactly."

The two elves looked at one another in consternation, both imagining the contempt of the wood elf king once he discovered that the path to Imladris was too narrow for his mighty steed.

"...I could write a comic song?"

Elrond's lips twitched. "No need to be crass, Lindir."

"Crass? I have no idea what you mean."

Elrond sighed and prepared to mount his horse. "Just...just fix it, will you? Please? Ask Erestor. He'll know how to get Thranduil inside without insulting his dignity."

"Right," Lindir said, mounting his own horse. "I'll just find Erestor and ask him to send out a delegation to lead the king around the back way, shall I? Surely his giant, ceremonial...elk will fit through the rear entrance."

"Lindir!"

"What?"

"No comic songs."

Lindir sighed.

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  Translation into Russian by belana:  
>  http://wtfcombat.diary.ru/p185166572.htm 
> 
> Translation into Chinese by wongenglove:  
> http://www.mtslash.com/viewthread.php?tid=77499&page=1&extra=#pid1357016
> 
> Also, Anon wrote the comic song!  
> http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/702.html?thread=648894#t648894


End file.
